i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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