I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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