I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
