what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
