Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
