We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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