Whod you bang
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize