Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
