Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
