Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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