Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
