I'm lost and stupid without you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
