Non-Jews are for practice
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
