i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
