He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
