ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
