I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
