glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
