You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
