dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
