My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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