i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
