awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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