thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How external is "for external use only"?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
