so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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