is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
well you can't waste a boner
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
