he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize