Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
