i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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