I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
