Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
