Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
