...so i touched it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
They took my balls.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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