STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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