And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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