she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
