I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
