They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize