I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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