i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And then my night got REAL pukey
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
