Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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