Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
