I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
