I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
do nipples grow back?
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