I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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