"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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