They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
