How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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