What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
