I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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