Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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