Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
