lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
