you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
