So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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