I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will be naked everywhere
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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