I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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