A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
