I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
