Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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