So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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