Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
